Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
