you guys were way drunker than both of me
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
