whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
