You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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