Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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