4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
