What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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