The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
