The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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