i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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