how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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