he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
