This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
