You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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