So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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