fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
