does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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