I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
