So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
