If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
