If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
