So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
