Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize