hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
