do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Dignity is for republicans.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I feel like death gave me a hand job
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
