Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
