The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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