i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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