Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
