im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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