people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
