it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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