Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize