Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
God, you're like boner-b-gone
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
