shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
