no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize