Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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