Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
