spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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