It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
