I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
