Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
