How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You made out with two different species that night
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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