so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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