Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize