those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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