worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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