If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
