You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
