I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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