Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
