Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
