Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i think im in europe. pls send help
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
