Who wears a wallet chain?!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
