I want to have your abortion
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
