Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
