Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
