My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
