I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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