So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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