it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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