Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
